Rooting for you!
We are rooting for you and your family. We know you're doing all you can!
Director of the foundation. Son-Rise® mother, Social and Economic Psychologist.
Option Process Mentor®
Ulrich is a certified Option Process ® Mentor/ Counselor, Son-Rise® father
Social Psychologist (Trainer/Coach).
"When my daughter was 3,5 years old, it became apparent that school would not be suitable for her. She couldn't speak, she wasn't fully toilet-trained, she could just cry for hours without an apparent reason and she didnt follow instructions. We have visited every school, we had meetings with different schoolboards and directors. Each of the schools could not offer the care our daughter needed in order to follow an education. We were devastated. we felt alone and didnt know where to go. We received care for a while but it was a temporary solution. In the following 2,5 years we looked for a school. The care organisations (government) said they would help us and organised meetings with schools without involving us, making decisions without our consent, talking about our daughters future without our presence or knowing. We felt so lost and so alone.
Then, by chance, we came across the Option Process®. It was a breath of fresh air. The message was of hope and of empowerment. We started to look at our possibilities and act from what we want with our daughter. We started to make those steps and making what we want into reality. We started our own Son-Rise® Program. Our daughter is happy and learning. We, as a family, feel happy and connected and hopeful of the future".
Our personal story
A brief perspective on our own life
What the dialogue did for us
Before I knew anything about the dialogue, i usually felt overwhelmed, out of control, hopeless and stressed. We had a huge challenge with finding a suitable place for our daughter. We didn't want her to go to school, but homeschooling is not an option in the Netherlands. And the government and all the care-organizations we had around us, told us that our daughter would be able to go to school. That there were special schools for children with Autism. We went to visit those schools and our hearts broke. We saw bored to death little people, we saw screaming children, we saw screaming teachers. We thought "no way, is this going to be a place for our daughter!" But we had to find something. And the care givers started to put more pressure on us. I felt that I was not in charge of my own daughter and the choices we wanted to make weren't important. The caregivers started to have meetings without us and without our knowledge about our daughter's future.
We ended up believing the so called experts and we send her to a school they suggested. It was awful and in 2.5 months our daughter's behavior changed drastically. She was kicking and biting and screaming. Hiding under the table, and so forth!
We felt so lost. But we decided to take her home and see from there.
We had her home for a while and didn't know what to do, until we came across Son-Rise®. A home program based on acceptance and love. For us, that was it. A big part of this program is exploring your own feelings and your own behavior, so that you can be the best version of yourself to model to your child.
This exploration was done with the dialogue. I started questioning why I was so angry and frustrated at school and the caregivers, and I knew the answers! I was telling myself they were stupid because i wanted to get rid of them, but i thought i needed a good justification for that. So, I judged them as incompetent and untrustworthy! Being aware of why I was angry diminished the anger. When i wasn't that angry anymore, i could start to focus on what it was, we wanted for our daughter.
With the focus on what we wanted and with the tool to become aware of the reasons of my own unhappiness (like anger, frustration) we took a whole new direction.
Our daughter is happy and she took amazingly big leaps in her development. She started to talk, she started to play with us and she is no longer shut off from us.